Title: Moving On

[anorienparker.livejournal.com]

Title: Moving On
Fandom: Firefly
Character: Simon/Jayne.
Beta: The lovely minxkat
Rating: G-NC17
Notes: These characters don’t belong to me and no money was made.



The only time Jayne had ever cried as an adult had been when Simon had left him. Jayne had deserved it, had acted like an ass, got drunk and flirted with some whore in a bar. Simon had asked him quietly to please stop, but Jayne, macho fool he was, grabbed and kissed her.

It was the worst kiss of his life and the moment he realized he never wanted to kiss anyone but Simon again.

Simon packed his things that night and moved back into his old room, leaving Jayne alone, trying to not to cry. And failing miserably.

~*~

“Just you,” Jayne said, trying to take Simon’s hand, even as it was pulled it away.

“Never want to kiss nobody else. Please....give me another chance.”

Simon wanted to believe Jayne, but seeing him kiss that woman had made something inside him die.

He crossed the room, opened the door. “It’s over, Jayne,” he said. When he saw Jayne wasn’t going to leave, he walked away. “It’s over.”

Jayne hung his head. He always knew he’d fuck this up somehow, he thought, so he shouldn’t be surprised that he’d lost the best thing that had ever happened to him.

~*~

Jayne couldn’t let him go, not like this. He stood, hurried after Simon and grabbed his arm.

“It was like kissing a dead fish. Kissing anyone else, ever, is gonna feel that way now that I’ve kissed you, I reckon.”

Jayne leaned in and pressed his lips gently against Simon’s. Their mouths melded together into a passionate kiss, Simon’s lips resistant at first, but soon becoming pliant and soft.

Clearly there was more than lust between them. But, Simon wondered, was it enough?

Jayne buried his face against Simon’s neck and closed his eyes, not willing to let go.

“Please?”

~*~

Simon pulled back and looked at Jayne. He reached up and let his fingers run lightly over the soft, dark goatee he’d explored with his lips, tongue and fingers so many times.

“You came after me,” he said softly. “I was going to just keep to myself and never let anyone know I was having feelings for you, but you came after me. You said you wanted me, you asked me out on a date. You seduced me, Jayne.”

He dropped his hand and shook his head. “If you wanted someone else though, I wish you’d just left me alone.”

~*~

Jayne nodded. Everything Simon said was perfectly true. He honestly didn’t know why he’d fooled around with that woman. Just falling back on old habits, he guessed, wanting to look like the guy in the bar who could have anyone he wanted.

When all he wanted was Simon.

“What am I to you, Jayne?” Simon asked softly. “An easy lay between planets? A bit of ass to hold you over until you can get back to another whorehouse?”

Jayne shook his head and gathered an unresisting, but seemingly uninterested Simon against him.

“What are you to me? Simon...you’re everything.”

~*~

After a moment, Simon’s arms slowly came up to wrap around Jayne’s neck. The two men stood there in the hallway just outside of Simon’s old room, eyes closed, holding each other tight.

Jayne couldn’t have been more terrified if a dozen Reavers started bounding down the hallway toward them.

He wasn’t sure if this was an I forgive you hug or a goodbye one.

“Please come back home,” he whispered against Simon’s ear.

Simon pulled away and stared into Jayne’s eyes, wondering if he was about to make the biggest mistake or the best decision of his entire life.

~*~

Simon touched Jayne’s face again, looking as if he was trying to memorize it. Jayne was sick with dread at what Simon was going to say. He managed not to speak, though, knowing he had no right.....and that if he did, he would only embarrass himself and beg Simon to forgive him.

The more he thought about it though, the more he realized he would gladly swallow his pride if it meant Simon would stay.

He closed his eyes, concentrating on the feeling of Simon’s fingers, taking heart in the fact that Simon was still willing to touch him.

~*~

Simon withdrew his hand and took a deep breath.

Before Jayne could speak, Mal stepped into the hallway and studied both men.

“Well, Simon, are you stayin’ on this plant or not?”

Jayne startled and looked at Mal in disbelief. “Stayin'?”

“Town needs a doc,” the captain shrugged. “Didn’t he tell ya? They sent a man down earlier to make our doc here an offer. Said they’d watch over River too, keep them both safe and hid from the Alliance.”

Stricken, Jayne turned to Simon. “What did you tell them?”

“I told them no,” Simon said. “But that was before.”

~*~

Without waiting for a reply, Simon ducked out of the circle of Jayne’s arms and walked down the hallway to his cabin where he’d just put his few possessions not half an hour earlier.

He ignored Mal for the moment, knowing he wasn’t in any hurry to get off the planet just yet. He would wait for Simon to make a decision and support him either way, Simon was sure.

He only had to zip a few bags and he was packed again. After slinging the bags over his shoulder, he turned and ran right into Jayne’s broad, solid chest.

~*~

“If you stay, I’m stayin’ too,” Jayne said, resting one hand on each of Simon’s shoulders. “I ain’t gonna just let you go, bao bay. I made a mistake, a stupid, gorram, idijit mistake that I ain’t ever plannin’ on makin’ again. And I love this ship, I love bein’ a part of this family but truth is, you can’t just stay on this plant and think you’ll be rid of me. If I have to spend the rest of my life makin’ this up to you, makin’ you trust me again, I will. Just give me time to pack.”

~*~

Simon shook his head and rested one hand on Jayne’s chest, just over his heart, which he could feel was beating fast and hard. “There’s nothing that needs to be fixed,” he said, seeing that Jayne was truly torn up over this. Seeing him kiss someone else had hurt like hell, but Simon wasn’t the only one in pain at the moment, that much was evident. Either way, he was going with his heart.

“Yes, there is,” Jayne began, before Simon cut him off.

“Help me with this bag, Jayne. I’m not staying on the planet. I’m just going home.”

~*~

They had fucked hundreds of times. Made love hundreds of times as well. But this, what Jayne was doing to him just then, was like nothing Simon had ever felt before. With each slow thrust forward, Jayne kissed him as if every kiss might be the last. It was clear he’d been terrified of losing Simon and since he’d never been all that good with words, he was trying to show Simon how he felt the only way he knew how.

Jayne lay heavily on top of him, chest to chest, not wanting even a breath of air between them. His lips were soft, giving Simon anything and everything he wanted each time he buried his length deep inside Simon’s passage. There was no rush, no smart remarks or crude words. There were only soft kisses, sweet slow ones, ones that took Simon’s breath away, ones that were so deep and long, they made his lips tingle and his lungs burn with the need for oxygen.

There was just Jayne and Simon and Jayne’s wholehearted attempt to win back the life he’d nearly thrown away.

Simon’s hands moved over Jayne’s back and sides, pulling him closer, assuring him with every touch that yes, they could work on this, but at the same time...yes, he was still scared.

And Jayne was determined to erase every last bit of that fear.

After a few dozen slow, deep thrusts, Jayne buried his face against Simon’s neck and closed his eyes, shuddering when Simon’s legs tightened around the back of his thighs and drew him in deeper. He stilled though, and just let Simon touch him in the gentle way he had, the way that always made Jayne forget everything and everyone in the universe but the man in his arms.

“I love you, Simon Tam. I don’t deserve you, but I love you,” Jayne whispered against warm, damp skin.

Simon closed his eyes as well and combed his fingers through Jayne’s hair, what little of it there was over the back of his head, the soft bristles cut short in stark contrast to Simon’s longer, thicker hair.

“You deserve to be happy, Jayne,” Simon whispered. “For a while there, I just.....I guess I just wasn’t sure I was the one to make you that way.”

Jayne’s heart ached at those words, but he had no one to blame but himself. “I know,” he nodded, sliding his arms underneath Simon and nearly clinging to him. “And now?”

Simon’s inner muscles clenched around Jayne’s shaft and he turned his head just enough to place a kiss behind Jayne’s ear.

“I love you,” Simon said simply. “No one can love you the way I do, so no matter what happened earlier, I know we’re good together. We need each other. We...”

Jayne pulled back a little and met Simon’s gaze. “You need me?” he asked, faintly surprised. “I mean....as more than muscle, to keep you n’ River safe?”

Simon smiled and reached up to touch Jayne’s face. “I need you like I need air, Jayne Cobb.”

Jayne searched Simon’s face for a moment, smiled, then slowly started thrusting again.

With each thrust, he moved in a little deeper, then finally pulled away entirely, causing Simon to whimper. Without a word, Jayne shifted his body forward, unrolling the condom from his erection, then throwing it aside. He came to rest with one knee on each side of Simon’s hips. Simon realized what he was going to do just as Jayne reached back, grabbed, opened, and quickly rolled a condom over Simon’s arousal. A heartbeat later, Jayne was rubbing the tip of the condom over his entrance.

“Bao bay....No.”

Simon saw Jayne’s face flush even as his hips pressed back. “Wanna ride you,” the bigger man panted. “Wanna give you everything....”

“Not like this.”

Jayne thought for a moment that Simon didn’t want him, that he wasn’t forgiven after all, but as Simon brought his hand to his mouth to wet two fingers, Jayne shook his head. “No. It oughta hurt,” he said gently batting away at those slick fingers. “After what I did, I deserve...”

“You deserve to be made love to with the same care and love you show me,” Simon finished for him, sliding his hand between their bodies and letting his wet fingers move over Jayne’s opening. Jayne started to protest, especially since he could feel Simon’s cock leaking against his hand, but when that first slick finger entered him, he could only gasp in surprise. He’d never been taken before, never thought he’d want to be a ‘bottom’ but as of that day, he’d decided he could be anything in the universe Simon wanted.

Simon’s finger moved carefully inside him as their lips met again. The slightly amused doctor swallowed each moan and whimper (yes, even Jayne Cobb could be made to whimper, he’d discovered), running his free hand over Jayne’s back soothingly as his finger delved deeper. A second finger slowly joined the first and he took a few extra moments to let Jayne relax around him before he started moving again.

Simon took his time, pulling away only when he could feel tight guardian muscles accepting him easily. As he lined himself up, he felt Jayne take a deep breath. Despite the preparation, Jayne was still tight around him as their bodies merged. Then, Jayne settled over him, Simon pulled him close again and whispered against his ear as virgin muscles adjusted.

Tentative rocks of Simon’s hips a few minutes later, caused Jayne to stiffen, however and lean up, resting his weight on one arm. He looked....surprised.

“Feels good,” he moaned as he reached down and began pulling at his cock. “Why didn’t ya tell me it felt this good?”

Simon could only smile up at his lover as Jayne began to ride him in earnest, grinding down on his shaft each time the head came in contact with Jayne’s sweet spot until they were both breathing hard and aching.

Then, Jayne stopped again, meeting Simon’s eyes. He lifted himself up and rolled the condom off Simon’s cock, causing Simon to lean up on both elbows and stare at him in disbelief.

“Jayne...what are you...”

“Ain’t no need for these gorram things no more,” Jayne explained as he ran his fingers over Simon’s cock, gathering the fluid that sipped out and rubbing it over his entrance. He paused, then met Simon’s gaze. “Is there?”

Simon’s heart nearly stopped. “I...”

“I ain’t never gonna be with no one else, end of story,” Jayne said. “Ain’t gonna kiss, or go sexin’ nobody else up. Ain’t even gonna touch nobody else from here on out. If you want somebody else, though...”

“I’ve never wanted anyone else, not since the day I met you,” Simon pointed out.

Simon had given both himself and Jayne blood tests and they’d been clean, but without a firm commitment from Jayne, he hadn’t wanted to take any chances. Jayne did, after all have a reputation in the bars and whorehouses on nearly every planet he’d ever been on. “Jayne are you sure?”

“Wouldn’t offer if I wasn’t sure. Love you, Simon. Ain’t got no need for no body besides you ever again.”

Jayne wanted Simon back inside him again but more than that, he wanted Simon to agree to what he was proposing.

His answer came when the felt the slick, wet head of his lover’s erection pushing against, then into him.

He knew how much this meant to them both. Knew it wasn’t something to take lightly.

And he knew he not only had Simon’s forgiveness, but his love as well, the kind of love he’d always thought he didn’t deserve.

He swore to himself he would never, ever let Simon regret giving him either.